Blowjobs not only feel great, they're also a great way to get your girl to shut the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I tried starting a career in Porn but it didn't last. That shit is some stiff competition. — Nikhil Saluja Career Copy Share Image
Three Things to Coltivate... Courage, Cheerfulness and Contentment. — Nikhil Saluja Cheerfulness Copy Share Image
I carry a flamethrower with me at all times just in case someone with bad breath comes too close. — Nikhil Saluja Bad breath Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
On your death bed, you will think about all of those days you didn't check Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Death Copy Share Image
Sleeping all day is useless. You'll probably miss an opportunity to meet and hate someone new. — Nikhil Saluja Hate Copy Share Image
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
If you have a problem with me, then talk to me about it.. Not to your 10 friends who can't do anything… — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
Study: The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby… — Nikhil Saluja Eating Copy Share Image
Ladies: not swallowing a mans semen during a blowjob is a violation of our sperms and conditions. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when women say that all men want from them is sex, coz that's bullshit. We want you for blowjobs too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A person who only lasts as long as a marriage -- an ex-wife is forever — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the new Playboy magazine for married men? It has the same pictures, month after month after month after... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Boy will Love A Girl for what she looks like; A Man will Love A Girl for who she is! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men who don't understand why their woman is mad at them need to realize the woman doesn't know why either. — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
When a girl says Do whatever you want Do NOT do whatever you want. — Nikhil Saluja Girl Copy Share Image
If you park next to me like an asshole, I'll make sure to open my door like an asshole and ding your… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some days suck, some days are Contra and you just got the spread powerup. — Nikhil Saluja Bad days Copy Share Image
People say 'better late than never' but I believe 'better never than late'. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Ways of Life : Minds are like parachutes...they function only when open. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Books come in really handy when you need something to put your laptop on. — Nikhil Saluja Book Copy Share Image
OH Man! These people melting when they are sitting next to me. It's not because I'm hot is it? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Noone in this world will ever love you as much as a less attractive person. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. — Nikhil Saluja Buddhism Copy Share Image
A best friend is there when you have nothing & more importantly when you feel like nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Best friend Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough. — Nikhil Saluja Drunk Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by their car… For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I hate when police stop me and say stupid things like you're speeding and there is a hand hanging out the trunk… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
