Nikhil Saluja

Good girls wear high heels to work Bad girls wear high heels to bed Naughty girls make you wear high heels

— Nikhil Saluja

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife;

— Nikhil Saluja

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

— Nikhil Saluja

Cocks are a lot like ovens. You would rather a woman was operating it but sometimes you have to use it yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

God gave us the miracle of life - sustaining water, & we turned it into Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi & Vodka. Good job, Morons.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes We ignore the obvious because we get too caught up in being hopeful.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one argument and begins the next;

— Nikhil Saluja

Nowadays people spend more time cleaning the touchscreen of their cellphone than they spend cleaning their genitals.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

— Nikhil Saluja

I think that a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending…

— Nikhil Saluja

I have nothing against gay people, to be honest my girl and I love anal sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? Honey, I'm home.

— Nikhil Saluja

They say you are what you eat, which is ironic 'cause I always thought guys who don't eat pussy were the biggest…

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't care if I offend any gays. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them;

— Nikhil Saluja

Failure doesnt mean you are inferior¦¦ it does mean you are not perfect!

— Nikhil Saluja

Blowjobs: Any girl can swallow but it takes a special kind of lady to gargle.

— Nikhil Saluja

So you like to play games? Cool,here's one for you...Go play 'Hide and go fuck yourself'

— Nikhil Saluja

Saying you like beer for it's taste is the same as saying you like women for their brains.

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the…

— Nikhil Saluja

If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day.

— Nikhil Saluja

They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show…

— Nikhil Saluja

I learned how jackoff with my feet, I call it the look ma' no hands.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate when people walk in on me masturbating and look at me like I'm the asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy;

— Nikhil Saluja

There are no relationship problems that can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical)

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem.

— Nikhil Saluja

For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face.

— Nikhil Saluja

As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired.

— Nikhil Saluja

I Followed you, I starred you, I retweeted you, I DM'ed you, I lost you, I blocked you, I never wanna see…

— Nikhil Saluja

My favorite game is shit I lost my phone in my blankets where the fuck did it go

— Nikhil Saluja

I press all the Try Me buttons on the toys and then just walk away.

— Nikhil Saluja

You should wear a condom on your head because if your gunna act like a dick might as well dress like one.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everyone should experience the pure joy of leaving a fart in someone's office at least once in their lifetime.

— Nikhil Saluja

The doctor asked me how much I drink and I told her it depends on how much money I have.

— Nikhil Saluja

Short & sweet line¦EMPTY POCKET and HUNGRY STOMACH teaches million things in LIFE¦!

— Nikhil Saluja

Wheres the best place for a man to put his checkbook? In his purse right next to his tampons.

— Nikhil Saluja