Before you tweet, ask yourself, Could this hurt someone's feelings? If the answer is yes, hit send. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Something really shocking just happened. I walked past a group of girls & they weren't talking about me. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
If I don't respond to your text or call and I tweet, so fucking what. It's my phone. You don't control me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best thing to do after a good night's sleep is to take a nap. — Nikhil Saluja Good night Copy Share Image
If Men Got Pregnant: Paternity suits would be a line of clothes. — Nikhil Saluja Fashion Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the TELEPHONE GUY says, Would you like it On the table or against the wall? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
True friends tell you not to jump off a bridge, Best friends will look at you and yell DO A BACK FLIP… — Nikhil Saluja Best friend Copy Share Image
These people are harassing me badly, they said they'll cut…… if I don't pay my phone bill on time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Woman say:DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? Woman means:We haven't had a fight in a while. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You don't just get over someone. You either still love them or never did. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pretty sure the woman of my dreams will be the kind who'll agree to hold my beer glass while I watch the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Move on people, there's nothing to see here. It's like you've never seen a guy in a Spider-Man outfit hanging on a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja Laugh Copy Share Image
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. — Nikhil Saluja Night Copy Share Image
MIRAGE, Another, and probably more precise way, to spell marriage — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If Bella faints at the sight of blood then how in the world does she handle her periods? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you don't squeeze your girlfriend's boob and honk the car horn at the same time, then what the fuck? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When will it be acceptable to walk away from someone after they reach their 140 character limit? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You do not want to see me before I've had my coffee! And I don't want to see you after, so now… — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
Some people on here are disrespectful, rude and plain arrogant. DM me and we'll exchange numbers! — Nikhil Saluja Arrogant Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you dont have it¦¦ it does mean you have to do something in a different way! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You can outlast the Energizer bunny. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
Some guys refer to their wife as the old ball 'n chain. I refer to mine as the old nagging cunt. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife and I argue a lot. She's so touchy. The least little thing sets her off. You're lucky. Mine's a self-starter! — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
Guys who piss on toilet seats are fucking assholes. You know how I know? Because I'm that fucking asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My friend just came out as being gay to me today. I was so shocked I nearly choked on his cock. — Nikhil Saluja Friendship Copy Share Image
Most people are lucky and only look horrible in the mornings. I look horrible at all times during the day. — Nikhil Saluja Morning Copy Share Image
Live for what tomorrow has to Offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you ever want to test someone's patience, give them a laptop with a slow internet connection. — Nikhil Saluja Internet connection Copy Share Image
Not sure if this 2 year old is trying to break the Guinness world record for breath-holding or drowning. — Nikhil Saluja Child Copy Share Image
You are strong... when you take your grief and teach it to smile. — Nikhil Saluja Education Copy Share Image
Pretty sure the bible says not to cheat, steal, murder or get out of bed on the first alarm. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
