All a woman really wants is to know you care. And all of the sandles ever made. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
If I know the person talks a lot I avoid using these words: 1) Really? 2) Please explain! 3) Hello. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade; if it hands you tomatoes, make vegetable stew. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wouldn't it be funny if breast implants came with squeaky toys inside them. — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
Kindness : I never will understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The best feeling in the world is knowing you finally took a step in the right direction, a step towards a better… — Nikhil Saluja Best feeling Copy Share Image
Having to poop after a shower is basically your body's way of pranking you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Please only read this on your birthday. Thanks.) — Nikhil Saluja Birthday Copy Share Image
If I ask to suck your boobs when I wake up, does that count as sleeping like a baby? — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
I wish pussy could talk just so that my dick would have the pleasure of shutting it the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You can't even remember your second cup. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
If a girl asks you if she's fat, you either say no or absolutely not. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't even care what brand clothes a girl is wearing. I just like to imagine her naked. — Nikhil Saluja Girl Copy Share Image
I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I hate people looking at me while I'm smiling at my phone. That's why I never leave the house. — Nikhil Saluja Hate Copy Share Image
Woman say:I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE. Woman means:I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You channel surf faster without a remote. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're chatting with someone and see '….. is typing' and then they end up writing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like you much that I don't want any other girl to have you but yet not enough to see me with… — Nikhil Saluja Girl Copy Share Image
Guys: if one of your homeboys watches Twilight, it's your job as a man to call him a bitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Smile. It confuses people. Then hit them over the head with an iron pipe and take their wallet. — Nikhil Saluja Smile Copy Share Image
Ladies don't be afraid to get naughty. Rock his world and leave him begging for more! — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Porn Rule: Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the slightest suggestion of sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
Happiness is not the end of problems but the ability to deal with them — Nikhil Saluja Ability Copy Share Image
Husbands are like guns ... keep one around for long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons Naughty girls unbutton… — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. — Nikhil Saluja Experience Copy Share Image
No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When somebody says Expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say You didn't expect that, did you? — Nikhil Saluja Expect the unexpected Copy Share Image
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I hate the word 'followers' so from now on I'm going to call you guys my 'troops' — Nikhil Saluja Followers Copy Share Image
Don't get shock if I unfollow you. It was completely your fault (for thinking I am different). — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is best assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out in the same direction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitter is really fun - you can talk about one person and it makes 50 others think it's about them. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
