My wife is 6 ft tall, I'm 5'5. We don't always see things eye to eye. — Obsidian Panther Copy Share Image
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life. — David Niven Copy Share Image
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Marriage is give and take. Youd better give it to her or shell take it anyway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day. — James E. Faust Copy Share Image
Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I get married. WE AIN'T NEVER GETTING A DIVORCE! TILL DEATH DO US PART. better take your mad ass in the… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry,… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
This is getting so weird.. Whom I liked and loved are either married,engaged,interested but emotionally damaged,has kid,not in the mood, and a… — Jaseem Kapoor Copy Share Image
Marriage is sanctified when it is cherished and honored in holiness. That union is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces… — Russell M. Nelson Copy Share Image
The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go,… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other...… — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
A person who surrenders when hes WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
Professional marriage counselors agree that the most productive and mature way to deal with marital anger is to stomp dramatically from the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I have a lot of friends who are getting married. I try to avoid talking to them about their sex lives now… — Ted Alexandro Copy Share Image
When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make… — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed… — Harriet Morgan Copy Share Image
I always said if I ever get married, I would tell my woman - I love Michael Jordan, I am a Michael… — Aries Spears Copy Share Image
Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
