I don't need to control my anger. Everybody around me needs to control their habit of pissing me the fuck off. — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
If women had to give a blowjob every time they said something bad, there would be no more obese women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If she's retweeted you twice in one day, she's pictured what your kids would look like. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Someone just stopped me to say that he recognized me from twitter and now I'm writing my suicide note. — Nikhil Saluja Suicide Copy Share Image
Disclaimer : Twitter is purely entertainment...it's not to be taken seriously. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Never let your Ladys mind wonder. its too little to be out on its own — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Car keys Copy Share Image
Women are like coconuts. Sometimes you have to hit them really fucking hard before they will spread open. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I usually try not to sound like an idiot but it's really hard because I am an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. Rehab is for quitters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ways of Life : A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out. — Nikhil Saluja Growth Copy Share Image
On the Internet you can be whatever you want! I mean, besides successful. — Nikhil Saluja Internet Copy Share Image
The weirdest thing just happened. I passed by a group of girls who weren't talking about other girls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wait, are you telling me 'professional tweeter' can't go in my CV? Well this was a waste of time. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
If we ever get into war, only the children must evacuate. Women must fight like the equals they are! — Nikhil Saluja Evacuate Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are a failure¦¦ it does mean you havent succeeded yet! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Suicide is never the answer. Unless the question is How do I cover up a murder? — Nikhil Saluja Murder Copy Share Image
Want to know who to blame for all of your misfortunes? YOURSELF! Quit blaming everyone for the drama you create in your… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl calling another girl a slut is like a retweet but in real life, because you just gave her a shitload… — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
If she smokes cigarettes she probably has the voice of a villain. — Nikhil Saluja Villain Copy Share Image
The best pictures are always taken when you don't know your being pictured. — Nikhil Saluja Photography Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are politicians or celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If Men Got Pregnant: Men would be eager to talk about commitment — Nikhil Saluja Commitment Copy Share Image
Whats one thing that all women have in common? They all moan in the same language. — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. It's nothing personal, but people need to realize that sometimes I don't want to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ordered a tea, caught myself watching daily soap & had to reach down to check if I still had a dick. — Nikhil Saluja Tea Copy Share Image
When I'm loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I'm quiet, people ask me what's wrong with me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I followed you back after 15 minutes of following me, I was just pretending to be busy & I failed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: If we're not going to have sex, then you have to at least let me lick your balls… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Computers Copy Share Image
The best thing about this tweet is, by the time you found it's completely worthless, it's too late for you to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
