Nikhil Saluja

Babies aren't made from scratch, they're made from snatch.

— Nikhil Saluja

I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T.

— Nikhil Saluja

Money talks. And it usually says goodbye.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know she's the one when you stop sleeping with other ones.

— Nikhil Saluja

There's no such thing as non-existence.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're not using Instagram congrats on not being an asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths.

— Nikhil Saluja

One not does simply notice the words are switched.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always date girls with beer guts cause you know those bitches can party.

— Nikhil Saluja

Give a man some 'pussy' and he'll have 'sex' for a day. Teach a man to 'jackoff' and he'll have 'sex' for…

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, What the hell would I do without them

— Nikhil Saluja

Using Viagra to masturbate is a hardest time in every man's life...

— Nikhil Saluja

I often wonder how my tweets are going to sound when read aloud at my future divorce hearing.

— Nikhil Saluja

Site Engineer is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've never felt this way about anyone before. - Every girl, literally every time they like a guy

— Nikhil Saluja

On one thing, at least, men & women both agree: They both distrust women.

— Nikhil Saluja

If two people are arguing & one person says, You know what... Just sit back & enjoy. Trust me that argument is…

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't give a girl attention or she'll lose interest. If you don't give her attention someone else will. In conclusion, you're fucked.

— Nikhil Saluja

Autobiography Of Mr. Penis When I Was Young, I Was Cute. All Loved To Wash, bMe. Now, All Suck Me, Stroke Me,…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The most slippery word in the human language -- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most…

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothings worse than having diarrhea and having to shit in a wal-mart bathroom, until you sit down and find out there's no…

— Nikhil Saluja

I love helping people getting what they want. Today I overheard a girl saying I'd die for spicy mc burger so I…

— Nikhil Saluja

This guy told me that playing the guitar is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing…

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through;

— Nikhil Saluja

I have much more confidence than overweight girls in leggings.

— Nikhil Saluja

Justin Beiber? I didn't know I had a little sister.

— Nikhil Saluja

My Birth may be normal but my Death should be History!!

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman… There would be no Hooters

— Nikhil Saluja

I like my beer like I like my beer.

— Nikhil Saluja

Home is where your neighbors see you walk around naked.

— Nikhil Saluja

There's always money in the banana stand.

— Nikhil Saluja

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

— Nikhil Saluja

To me, drink responsibly means don't spill it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Keep your face to the Sun, And you will not see the shadow!

— Nikhil Saluja

I am like a hardware store. I screw. I nut. I bolt.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who has to grow old alone;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, is much like a fire -- he goes out if unattended;

— Nikhil Saluja

The only thing sexier than confidence is boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman… Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE

— Nikhil Saluja