Nikhil Saluja

You go, girl! And then, you know, don't come back.

— Nikhil Saluja

As a true atheist I'm am actually popeless romantic.

— Nikhil Saluja

Who needs xbox, when farting is the original Call of Duty.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fight for me, and I promise you I will do the same.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only game that two can play and both win;

— Nikhil Saluja

I could have done way better - me, after posting any tweet

— Nikhil Saluja

It's like I don't even know you people.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The crocodile in the river of desire;

— Nikhil Saluja

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

— Nikhil Saluja

Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get nervous and give the wrong answers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?

— Nikhil Saluja

You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook should add sexually active to their material status, it would save us on tons of poking.

— Nikhil Saluja

Can you stop pretending urself as a 'tough' girl on twitter? We get it. You don't give a shit about anyone. Good…

— Nikhil Saluja

1813 Women have no rights. 1913 Women fight for some rights. 2013 Women are always fucking right.

— Nikhil Saluja

True Love is like Justin Bieber's masculinity. It doesn't exist.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you love someone so much you're waiting for them, you're noble. If you're making someone who loves you wait for you,…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'd rather get all my girls fucked, electrocuted, thrown in a river and eaten by piranhas before becoming a part of inspirational…

— Nikhil Saluja

COMMITMENT Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with…

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife brings up the subject of my affair all the time - especially during sex. To be honest, I wish she'd…

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the…

— Nikhil Saluja

You call me hateful because I'm real. You call me childish because I speak my mind. Sorry, I wasn't taught how to…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet…

— Nikhil Saluja

You know it's true love when you find youself saying sweet things you never imagined you'd say like baby, I warmed the…

— Nikhil Saluja

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

I forgot how my real laugh sounds like.

— Nikhil Saluja

No one is busy in this world. It's all about priorities.

— Nikhil Saluja

Light Lunch? Whiskey and a Cigar

— Nikhil Saluja

A smile is nearly always inspired by another smile. :) :)

— Nikhil Saluja

Whiskey & Vagina go hand in hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never let the bullshit Stress you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just because you're one in million doesn't mean you're useful.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never be afraid to take some chances. That's how you grow.

— Nikhil Saluja

We aren't players. We just like to make girls smile.

— Nikhil Saluja

Too many girls demand attention and not respect.

— Nikhil Saluja

A man should never own a dog smaller then a cat.

— Nikhil Saluja

Shockingly, I'm not this big of an asshole in real life.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ill put the passion in your fruit.

— Nikhil Saluja

He who has done evil, expects evil.

— Nikhil Saluja