I just want someone to compliment my new underwear. Ugh, its so hard being a salesman in this day and age. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
That moment when you have to beg yourself to stop crying and tell yourself, 'Be Strong' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I don't delete tweets that don't get retweeted. I hug them and tell them they're just as special. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're a cowboy who likes to line dance always remember, the girl behind you is secretly calling you a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja Cowboy Copy Share Image
If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm husband material (Getting fatter, balding, emotionally distant, intermittently angry for no reason — Nikhil Saluja Husband material Copy Share Image
Found out my girlfriend has been selling her pussy but it's OK she's just playing tricks on me. — Nikhil Saluja Girlfriend Copy Share Image
We live in an amazing age, where through the power of information and connectivity we can all be terrified and jump to… — Nikhil Saluja Terrified Copy Share Image
No, leave that bra on. 'Cause I'm gonna fuck your tits right out of it. is a romantic thing to say right… — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
The next time someone gets in my face to fight, I'll show them pictures on my phone of an ant I once… — Nikhil Saluja Fight Copy Share Image
Good girls prefer the missionary position Bad girls do too, but only for starters Naughty girls add some new chapters in the… — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: You need only two tools in life... WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something that changes the demeanour of a driver -- there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Red Bull does give you wings! After trying to 'fly' off a building and suing them for 50mil I'm flying all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's… — Nikhil Saluja Bad vibes Copy Share Image
A girl gives you a massage. The woman gives you a happy ending. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I'm sick and tired of twitter. See you in half n hour. — Nikhil Saluja Sick and tired Copy Share Image
