Before Twitter, people only had to write like 10 apology letters in rehab. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
What mechanical device best arouses the Jewish woman? The Mercedes-Benz SL550 convertible. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you like someone, tell them. Or just stalk them on every social network and cry yourself to sleep every night. Ok… — Nikhil Saluja Every night Copy Share Image
The hardest question in the world to answer completely truthfully is 'how are you?' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To meet, to know, to love, to share then to part is the sad tale of the human heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One time, I drunkenly threw up into a mailbox and yelled First class delivery and now I'm a dad. — Nikhil Saluja Dad Copy Share Image
Life is meaningless. Everything fun is illegal, delicious food makes you fat and the Kardashians are celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Delicious food Copy Share Image
There is only one thing that gets me through the day, knowing that someone loves me as much as you do. — Nikhil Saluja Cute love Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If two people are arguing & one person says, You know what... Just sit back & enjoy. Trust me that argument is… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, but give a man an empty house and a hand… — Nikhil Saluja Fish Copy Share Image
If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up.… — Nikhil Saluja Amazing Copy Share Image
Throughout my life, I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. Most of all I've… — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
I stick my middle finger up at the cops all the time. At night. When they're driving the opposite way. And we're… — Nikhil Saluja Cops Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Three Things to Prevent... Laziness, Falsehood and Slander. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
