Mark Twain Quotes

2194 quotes in 13158 categories

• Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more. Antedates
• Modesty died when clothes were born. Born
• Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom. Advice
• If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. Change
• Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century. Century
• A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes… All
• Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted. Accumulating
• He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. Iceberg
• The moral sense enables one to perceive morality, and avoid it. The immoral sense enables one to perceive immorality and enjoy it. Avoid
• In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities. Ethics
• We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention. Attention
• To say a compliment well is a high art and few possess it. Art
• Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense. Champion
• 'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it… All
• In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that. Correct
• He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. Cabbage
• In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather… Brass
• Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse. Bathhouse
• Had double chins all the way down to his stomach. All
• His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere. Anywhere

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