All Mark Twain Quotes
- By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don't know… Afire
- I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter. Best
- It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you think… Along
- I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know.… Acquaintance
- [On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug. Blubbery
- How charmed I am when I overhear a German word which I understand! Charmed
- A man's house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant associations. By and… Association
- Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth… Bad
- There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the… Bulk
- Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race - the individual's distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for… Affront
- What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval. Approval
- A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. Commodity
- A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is… Accord
- A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation. Combination
- You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs. Bad
- Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and… Any
- I have learned that there lies dormant in the souls of all men a penchant for some particular musical instrument an an unsuspected yearning to… All
- ....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard. Man
- I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the… Been
- Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Criticism