All Knocked Up (The Movie) Quotes
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Fuck me in the beard. -Martin
Beard
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Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money. Ben Stone: Can I just - have some?
Any
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I won't say it but it rhymes with shmashmortion. -Jonah
Jonah
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Alison Scott: I was drunk! Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?
Alison
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You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean. -Debbie
Debbie
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Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it. -Ben's Dad
Ben
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Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't…
Accept
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Debbie: Who is that guy? Is that Ben's Rabbi? Is he the one that cuts the penis? Pete: I think it's Matisyahu.
Ben
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You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter. -Pete
Cholo
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You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head. -Jason
Ever Since
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That's because Steely Dan Gargles my balls. -Ben Stone
Balls
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Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool. -Ben Stone
All
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Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88. Ben Stone: [Mimicks car noise] VRRROOOOM
Ben
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Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out! -Fantasy Baseball Guy 1
Baseball
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Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong? Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
Alison
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Pete: There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room. Ben Stone: That's way too many chairs for one room!
Ben
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Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out? -Debbie: [to Alison]
Alison
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You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth. -Pete
Babe
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Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style? Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog. Ben Stone: It's doggie…
Alison
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Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go…
Asking
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Jay: Dude, I think he's doing the dice thing too much. Jonah: That's really all he's got.
All
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Fuck you, hormones! -Ben Stone
Ben
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Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous. -Jonah
Dangerous
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Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles. -Ben Stone
Ben
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You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama. -Ben Stone [to bartender]
Bartender
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