Knocked Up (The Movie)

All Knocked Up (The Movie) Quotes

• Fuck me in the beard. -Martin Beard
• Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money. Ben Stone: Can I just - have some? Any
• I won't say it but it rhymes with shmashmortion. -Jonah Jonah
• Alison Scott: I was drunk! Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk? Alison
• You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean. -Debbie Debbie
• Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it. -Ben's Dad Ben
• Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't… Accept
• Debbie: Who is that guy? Is that Ben's Rabbi? Is he the one that cuts the penis? Pete: I think it's Matisyahu. Ben
• You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter. -Pete Cholo
• You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head. -Jason Ever Since
• That's because Steely Dan Gargles my balls. -Ben Stone Balls
• Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool. -Ben Stone All
• Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88. Ben Stone: [Mimicks car noise] VRRROOOOM Ben
• Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out! -Fantasy Baseball Guy 1 Baseball
• Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong? Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once! Alison
• Pete: There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room. Ben Stone: That's way too many chairs for one room! Ben
• Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out? -Debbie: [to Alison] Alison
• You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth. -Pete Babe
• Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style? Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog. Ben Stone: It's doggie… Alison
• Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go… Asking
• Jay: Dude, I think he's doing the dice thing too much. Jonah: That's really all he's got. All
• Fuck you, hormones! -Ben Stone Ben
• Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous. -Jonah Dangerous
• Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles. -Ben Stone Ben
• You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama. -Ben Stone [to bartender] Bartender

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