Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. — Karl Pilkington End of the day Copy Share Image
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder? — Karl Pilkington Carpentry Copy Share Image
I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. — Karl Pilkington Age Copy Share Image
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ — Karl Pilkington Elephant Copy Share Image
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to… — Karl Pilkington Argument Copy Share Image
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should… — Karl Pilkington Body Copy Share Image
I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or… — Karl Pilkington Bears Copy Share Image
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go,… — Karl Pilkington Amazing Copy Share Image
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong. — Karl Pilkington Faces Copy Share Image
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If Camels are the ship of the dessert, this one is the Titanic — Karl Pilkington Camels Copy Share Image
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. — Karl Pilkington Being Copy Share Image
