Inspirational Quotes by Karl Pilkington

I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it.

— Karl Pilkington

Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!

— Karl Pilkington

A problem solved is a problem caused.

— Karl Pilkington

Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot...

— Karl Pilkington

It's 2006, why are they still using the index finger?

— Karl Pilkington

Knowledge is almost annoying...

— Karl Pilkington

What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?

— Karl Pilkington

We all just want to sit on our ass.

— Karl Pilkington

Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.

— Karl Pilkington

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good

— Karl Pilkington

We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age.

— Karl Pilkington

Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.

— Karl Pilkington

We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about

— Karl Pilkington

If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake?

— Karl Pilkington

You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.

— Karl Pilkington

I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.

— Karl Pilkington

There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know…

— Karl Pilkington

By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.

— Karl Pilkington

Every step starts with a step.

— Karl Pilkington

I came up with a good idea…see-through skin.

— Karl Pilkington

The Web is the new book though, innit?

— Karl Pilkington

Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.

— Karl Pilkington

My brain's just full of passwords.

— Karl Pilkington

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lost, even in Wales.

— Karl Pilkington

If you haven't got eyes, you shouldn't have wings

— Karl Pilkington

I was still using my eyes even though I had them shut

— Karl Pilkington

We're just a weed in the universe

— Karl Pilkington

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.

— Karl Pilkington

It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep

— Karl Pilkington

Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.

— Karl Pilkington

You don't get anything done by planning

— Karl Pilkington

What I mean is, I don't know what I mean...

— Karl Pilkington

The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.

— Karl Pilkington

When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep...

— Karl Pilkington

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

— Karl Pilkington

Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.

— Karl Pilkington

If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong.

— Karl Pilkington

If Camels are the ship of the dessert, this one is the Titanic

— Karl Pilkington

Shitty nappy whizzing through the air, you don't see that in the brochures.

— Karl Pilkington

If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat?

— Karl Pilkington