All Jeff Ross Quotes
- Could your original face have been that much worse than that clown mask youve had welded on? Been
- You made all your money because you created a f*cked up, criminal baby. Youre like Michael Lohan. All
- What can you really say about Carson Daly that hasn't already been said about that retarded boy that won the lottery? Been
- Carson, you look like Dick Clark and Eddie Munster had a baby. Baby
- You know you're white bread, Carson, right? You shit croutons. Bread
- You ever had your heart broken, Larry? What was his name? Broken
- Folks, Jerry Stiller has the face of a star and that star is Lassie! Face
- Jerry Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight. He had a prior engagement to fuck a model on a pile of cash. Cash
- What was that movie you made with Ben, "Mystery Men"? That movie was so bad, I fired my agent! Gene Siskel was going to review… Agent
- As you can see, the rest of the cast of "Seinfeld" couldn't be here tonight. Apparently, they broke their backs carrying Jerry Seinfeld for eight… Apparently
- His eyes have more bags then his kids when they were forced to leave his home. Bags
- His nostrils are so snotty and full of coke, he calls them the hilton sisters. Calls
- Charlie Sheen is to stand up comedy to what Larry Flynt is to standing up. Charlie