“I planted a plant in the midst of spies, who were disguised as farmers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to be able to Foxtrot, without actually getting fur on my clothes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope. ” — Jarod Kintz Hope Copy Share Image
“I own a few yawns that I rent out to people who are tired of the sleazy snooze salesman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I let go of her memory the moment I let go of her hand. She fell over 500 feet to her death.” — Jarod Kintz Death Copy Share Image
“The greatest thing in the world is love. But the worst isn’t hate, it’s ignoringance.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wonder if Seal got his name because it looks like his face was mauled by a Great White shark?” — Jarod Kintz Fish Copy Share Image
“At five in the morning, I was half asleep. The whole left side of my body was taking a nap. Seems I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I'm proud to be a Mick, even though I'm not Irish My middle name is Mickey, though. Actually, I’m lying.” — Jarod Kintz Irish Copy Share Image
“My photograph represents me as a person, but not as a personality. My personality is best represented by a Rorschach test.” — Jarod Kintz Photography Copy Share Image
“The cause isn’t worth getting up for, but it is worth sleeping for. Just trying to do my part to help humanity.” — Jarod Kintz Humanity Copy Share Image
“I have a cigarette for a penis. Except when I get sexually aroused it turns into a cigar. Would you care to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the user has to be to make it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be a politician, if you attached strings, taught it to dance, and allowed it to read a teleprompter. Remember:… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two days ago, Tuesday at 10:10 am, I gave birth to a bagel. And God commanded me to slice up my only… — Jarod Kintz Right thing Copy Share Image
“I think a great book title would be “Ida Says ‘I do’ in Idaho.” It would be about a divorce in Washington… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“I designed a dress out of scotch tape. If you wear my dress, you can be dressed and undressed at the same… — Jarod Kintz Fashion Copy Share Image
“A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I don’t think politicians are… — Jarod Kintz Politicians Copy Share Image
“Yes, he was Chinese, but Chew wasn't only his last name, it was also his first. And I found this strange considering… — Jarod Kintz Fitness Copy Share Image
“A picture is worth a thousand words, but is 400% less valuable, because a picture only captures one of the senses—sight. However,… — Jarod Kintz Photography Copy Share Image
“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side you have the right. And every… — Jarod Kintz Confidence Copy Share Image
“The morning grass was damp and cool with dew. My yellow rain slicker must have looked sharp contrasted against the bright green… — Jarod Kintz Better place Copy Share Image
“First machine kicked man’s ass physically, then machine started taking over the left-brain when Deep Blue bested Kasparov in chess, and then… — Jarod Kintz Brain Copy Share Image
“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the brakes, rolled down… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I could fly, life would be amazing. But paraplegic people say the same thing about walking, and I freaking hate walking.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The temperature in the room seems to have gone up about ten degrees. My armpits are sweating and I notice myself vigorously… — Jarod Kintz Bank account Copy Share Image
“This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go to sleep, I have… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
