Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu. — Jane Wagner Family Copy Share Image
I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. — Jane Wagner Complain Copy Share Image
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. — Jane Wagner Funny Copy Share Image
Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of.… — Jane Wagner Accidents Copy Share Image
You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving… — Jane Wagner Children Copy Share Image
I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu! — Jane Wagner Cellulite Copy Share Image
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you. — Jane Wagner Death Copy Share Image
I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are. — Jane Wagner Creative Copy Share Image
People don't need sex so much as they need to be listened to. — Jane Wagner Listening Copy Share Image
“See, the human mind is kind of like...a pinata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get… — Jane Wagner Break Copy Share Image
... it's hard to be politically conscious and upwardly mobile at the same time. — Jane Wagner Conscious Copy Share Image
Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person? — Jane Wagner Personal things Copy Share Image
I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas. — Jane Wagner Collars Copy Share Image
I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand. — Jane Wagner Sick Copy Share Image
Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night. — Jane Wagner Coke Copy Share Image
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. — Jane Wagner Ability Copy Share Image
To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in… — Jane Wagner Childbirth Copy Share Image
It's not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now.… — Jane Wagner Ambition Copy Share Image
“I worry whoever thought up the term 'quality control' thought if we didn't control it, it would get out of hand.” — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the… — Jane Wagner Faces Copy Share Image
