I feel like my life is just passing me by like two ships in the night. And I have missed both boats. — Jane Wagner Boat Copy Share Image
It's one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense. — Jane Wagner Affair Copy Share Image
We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation. — Jane Wagner Funny Copy Share Image
Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want. — Jane Wagner Getting what you want Copy Share Image
The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you. — Jane Wagner Hardest Copy Share Image
Of all the things we've learned, we still haven't learned where did this desire to want to know come from? — Jane Wagner Desire Copy Share Image
A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? — Jane Wagner Full potential Copy Share Image
If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better… — Jane Wagner Evolution Copy Share Image
I worry that humanity has been "advanced" to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle. — Jane Wagner Evolution Copy Share Image
When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading. — Jane Wagner Dance Copy Share Image
My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s… — Jane Wagner Absurdity Copy Share Image
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. — Jane Wagner Life Copy Share Image
I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six… — Jane Wagner Goal Copy Share Image
Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. — Jane Wagner Delusions of grandeur Copy Share Image
Frankly, goin' crazy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't say it's for everybody; some people couldn't cope. — Jane Wagner Best thing that ever happened to me Copy Share Image
I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it… — Jane Wagner Causes Copy Share Image
Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either. — Jane Wagner Laughing Copy Share Image
“I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.” — Jane Wagner Complaining Copy Share Image
My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just… — Jane Wagner Going to work Copy Share Image
I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your… — Jane Wagner Distance Copy Share Image
What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch. — Jane Wagner Collectives Copy Share Image
If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from? — Jane Wagner Baby Copy Share Image
