I hate when someone gets lost in my eyes & they forget what they're telling me. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That mysterious toothbrush in the bathroom that nobody in your family uses.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I could lose so much weight if I just switched to red wine from eight beers. — Green Monk Beers Copy Share Image
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I want my tombstone to read YOU ARE HERE with a red arrow pointing down. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
It's called a joke. Just read it and laugh. Don't try to analyze it and take it literally. — Green Monk Comedy Copy Share Image
If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? . . . If my friends jumped off a cliff, it would be… — Green Monk Friendship Copy Share Image
My teacher said I had a self sabotaging personality when I showed up drunk for traffic school. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
No I dont drink alcohol. Why put something in my body that's so potent it can convince a girl to sleep with… — Green Monk Alcohol Copy Share Image
Of course I look both ways when crossing a one way street. You never know what kind of idiot is behind the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval — Green Monk Computers Copy Share Image
I hate when people assume I'm crazy & delusional rather than brave when I'm out fighting crime in my Superman costume. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A news paper seems more intresting when . . . The person sitting next to you is reading it... — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up — Green Monk Dreams Copy Share Image
Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Pay attention, I'm only going to show you this once! ~ suicide bomber teacher. — Green Monk Attention Copy Share Image
Lets play post office¦ Lick You, stick you, and send you on your way... — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
LOVE is not a feeling. Love is an action. Love is a choice. — Green Monk Action love Copy Share Image
A wise black man once told me... do you have any spare change you can give me? — Green Monk Change Copy Share Image
If you don't see it with your eyes, don't invent it with your mouth... — Green Monk Eyes Copy Share Image
If you don't like me, it's not my fault.. it just means you have no taste! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
My life is just me looking forward to either tweeting or eating. — Green Monk Eating Copy Share Image
To whoever stole my Microsoft Office: You're gonna pay. You have my Word! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The first woman who decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
If all else fails, get in bed at 8:00pm and watch a bunch of shit on tv. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Desire Copy Share Image
Everything is made in China... Except babies... They're made in the VaChina... — Green Monk Babies Copy Share Image
