All Gilbert Gottfried Quotes
- I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist. Benny
- I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on… Always Getting
- I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks. Funny
- I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching. Constantly
- I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time. Been
- If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.' Cause
- Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone. Biggest
- There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally… Certain
- There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows. Basically Get
- Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp. Been
- When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters. Admit
- I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the… Alley
- A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The… Answers
- A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their… Claim
- Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye… Best
- I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead… Act
- I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish… Accent
- I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party at… Afterwards
- I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that… Area
- I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out… All
- My family originally lived in Brooklyn. Our first apartment was a little place above my father and uncle's hardware store in Coney Island. Now, don't… Apartment
- With me, traveling for work is arriving at the airport, checking into the hotel, leaving the hotel the next morning at 4 or 5 to… Airport
- With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it. Another Half
- Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como. Camera
- One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any… Advancements