All Gilbert Gottfried Quotes
- I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement. Alan
- I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive. Bin
- I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. Bad
- I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner. Al
- I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like… Frank
- I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist. Benny
- I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on… Always Getting
- I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks. Funny
- I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching. Constantly
- I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time. Been
- If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.' Cause
- Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone. Biggest
- There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally… Certain
- There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows. Basically Get
- Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp. Been
- When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters. Admit
- I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the… Alley
- A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The… Answers
- A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their… Claim
- Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye… Best