George Burns Quotes

110 quotes in 1081 categories

• I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
• Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
• You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
• Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
• It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
• Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness…
• When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
• Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
• First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
• You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
• I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
• Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
• If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And…
• Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
• If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
• Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
• Be quick to learn and wise to know.
• I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
• Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
• The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

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