I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the English language in general. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The music coming from inside sounded like robots fucking. And complaining about it. In rhythmic monotone. European robots.” — Christopher Moore Music Copy Share Image
“If it be not destiny, then surely there is plausible deniability, which in the parlance of politics is the same thing.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body." Detective Cavuto — Christopher Moore Body Copy Share Image
The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You are my desire. Eating your luscious love thoughts My Junk Just Dropped Off” — Christopher Moore Desire Copy Share Image
People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight.… — Christopher Moore Age Copy Share Image
“In order to hold off the Forces of Darkness, you will need a number two pencil and a calendar, preferably one without… — Christopher Moore Darkness Copy Share Image
“This is fucking magic, she thought. This isn't some story out of one of Tommy's books. This isn't something you can experiment… — Christopher Moore Vampire Copy Share Image
After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I thought I was going to be a horror story writer. My influences were horror writers, like Rich Matheson, Ray Bradbury and… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“My children are monsters, Kiro thought. And I am responsible. Perhaps if I had read them the haikus of Basho when they… — Christopher Moore American culture Copy Share Image
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not… — Christopher Moore Accidents Copy Share Image
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, You’re doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that Mom ever was -… — Christopher Moore Death of a loved one Copy Share Image
“The Holy Mother has many faces, but you know it's her from her blue cloak. She is said to be the spirit… — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
“One Monday, just for sport, Charlie grabbed an eggplant that a spectacularly wizened granny was going for, but instead of twisting it… — Christopher Moore Grandmother Copy Share Image
Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but… — Christopher Moore Advice Copy Share Image
“A centipede the size of a Pontiac had once lived in the bottom-right corner of the trunk but had long since moved… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You must find a place on a woman's body and live there. In the dark, the noise far away, Sam ran his… — Christopher Moore Another life Copy Share Image
“He started skipping, but then caught himself and returned to deliberately pacing out his steps with his sheathed sword. People might ignore… — Christopher Moore Skipping Copy Share Image
“Although he would not remember it, when Lucien was born, the first thing he saw as he peeked over the edge of… — Christopher Moore Blue sky Copy Share Image
Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles and the kinkiest fans! — Christopher Moore Book Copy Share Image
“What a bawdy bitch is fate when the best bit of a bloke's day is a brace of bloody mermaid murders.” — Christopher Moore Mermaid Copy Share Image
“I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own. — Christopher Moore Problem Copy Share Image
“Well, you know, she was winded for a few minutes from kicking your ass, but she is just a little girl.” The” — Christopher Moore Girl Copy Share Image
“Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?” — Christopher Moore Rapper Copy Share Image
“She's studying the Existentialists this month. Asked for a study day last week to kill an Arab on the beach.” — Christopher Moore Education Copy Share Image
In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime. — Christopher Moore Business Copy Share Image
“(at eighteen months, Sophie moved like a small drunk most of the time.)” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Hope is merely another face of desire. And desire is a motherfucker.” — Christopher Moore Desire Copy Share Image
“Ninety-five percent of all the species that have ever existed are now extinct, so don’t look so goddamn smug. —GERARD RYDER” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“What is character, if not a man's measure of himself against his friends and enemies?” — Christopher Moore Character Copy Share Image
“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.” — Christopher Moore Astronomy Copy Share Image
“I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another.” — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
