“If ever there was a case deserving Capital Punishment, it's for this white lie.” — Brian Spellman Absurd Copy Share Image
“90% of life is showing up. I'm staying home to wait for the other 10%.” — Brian Spellman Humor Copy Share Image
“I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.” — Brian Spellman Arrogance Copy Share Image
“I don't like peoples, only persons among peoples. I've developed an allergy against being outnumbered, a price for originality.” — Brian Spellman Creativity Copy Share Image
“If sensing so badly of yourself you also sense a need to knock the sense out of me to sense that, then… — Brian Spellman Common sense Copy Share Image
“Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When… — Brian Spellman Atheism Copy Share Image
“If you only go around once in life, then why has that one gone around more than once?” — Brian Spellman Confusion Copy Share Image
“My secret to maintaining a youthful appearance? Immaturity.” — Brian Spellman Humor Copy Share Image
“The jury returned with a verdict of "Don't ask me, I wasn't there," and was excused.” — Brian Spellman Absurd Copy Share Image
“Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." True, but they're not all full of shit.” — Brian Spellman Assholes Copy Share Image
“I went to a self-help group. I helped myself to their buffet. It was a pot down on luck. (I brought corn.)” — Brian Spellman Buffet Copy Share Image
“I haven't learned how to confront a problem by avoiding it.” — Brian Spellman Avoiding Copy Share Image
“I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - late.” — Brian Spellman Decided Copy Share Image
“I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting.” — Brian Spellman Acting Copy Share Image
“I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing.” — Brian Spellman Answers Copy Share Image
“Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.” — Brian Spellman Argument Copy Share Image
“Now I lay me down to sweeps, my Nielsen monitoring sold to keep. If I should die before I wake, display my… — Brian Spellman Advertising-humor Copy Share Image
“I recovered from recovering so no longer celebrate not doing bad things to defend myself as good. I added new bad for… — Brian Spellman Addict Copy Share Image
“They ... "Well, you know what they say." "They? Who are they?" I said. "You know, us we-s should get together to… — Brian Spellman They Copy Share Image
