All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood… Awful
- A modern school where football is taught. Football
- HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in… Abandoned
- MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals. Ancient
- LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly… Admirable
- According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians. According
- Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle… Additions
- PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not… Apache
- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am; Funny
- The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. Advised
- Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the… Announced
- NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they… Banquets
- BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty. Bait
- An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods. Advanced
- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing. Affecting
- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation. Adapting
- CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones. Affair
- BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined. Bath
- TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose. Commit
- ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit. Action
- FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex. Female
- Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one. Desire
- WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves… Belief
- SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now… Belief
- RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids. Belief