All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there… Accurate
- Habit: A shackle for the free. Free
- Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be… Action
- Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests. Advance
- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic. Body
- RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. Art
- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit. Approach
- CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. Cemetery
- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as… Among
- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. Animal
- LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he… Candidate
- X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless… Added
- RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself. Censorious
- PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action. Action
- MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest… Contribution
- LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to… Arrest
- REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion. Law
- R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally… Abbreviation
- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion… Attests
- CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material… Adversity
- TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its… Animal
- PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in… Allied
- MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees. Animal
- MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out… Animal
- HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads. Ancients