All Ambrose Bierce Quotes
- Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo. Halo
- To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. Accidental
- Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. Arrange
- Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our… Attest
- Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great… Advantage
- BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. Alcohol
- An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode. Aged
- EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated… Accompanied
- In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity. Activity
- Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction. Brief
- Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Apparatus
- An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue. Auctioneer
- Advice, the smallest current coin. Advice
- Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice. Cannot Subsist
- PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of… Conqueror
- PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for… All
- While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his. Affection
- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns. Addicted
- EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our… Assure
- EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state. Created
- Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The… Bad
- Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. Advantage
- The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear. Fear
- Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed. Contempt
- Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing. All