I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That is their way, those plagues, those scientists - peg, peg, peg - dig, dig, dig - plod, plod, plod. I wish… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The business aspects of the Fourth of July is not perfect as it stands. See what it costs us every year with… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory--an office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; ... I should be sorry to have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born -a hundred million years -and I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Christian Bible is a drug store. It´s contents have remained the same but the medical practice continues. For 1,800 years these… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
