I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate. — Kevin Nealon Adequate Copy Share Image
I've noticed a surge when I go out somewhere, or if I'm doing stand-up. — Kevin Nealon Ifs Copy Share Image
Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing. — Kevin Nealon Disappointing Copy Share Image
It seems like all the sitcoms on now, the families are kind of dysfunctional. — Kevin Nealon Family Copy Share Image
Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled. — Kevin Nealon Workers Copy Share Image
If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit. — Kevin Nealon Deals Copy Share Image
I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got… — Kevin Nealon Aliens Copy Share Image
I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far. — Kevin Nealon Missed ones Copy Share Image
I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description… — Kevin Nealon Comedy Copy Share Image
I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another… — Kevin Nealon Addiction Copy Share Image
I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version. — Kevin Nealon Eating Copy Share Image
I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven. — Kevin Nealon Clean Copy Share Image
If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said. — Kevin Nealon Down Copy Share Image
Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes. — Kevin Nealon Enjoy Copy Share Image
I played a security guard, and I think it was in the State Department. This was my first acting role, really, and… — Kevin Nealon Acting Copy Share Image
I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the… — Kevin Nealon Acting Copy Share Image
I was never really an impressionist. If there was somebody within my range, maybe I could work on it and do a… — Kevin Nealon Exaggeration Copy Share Image
Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it… — Kevin Nealon Because Copy Share Image
I look back at 'Saturday Night Live' and I think, some people didn't like me doing 'Weekend Update.' Who cares? A lot… — Kevin Nealon Back Copy Share Image
When I first began doing TV pilots, my expectations were high. I didn't understand that world. So when 'Weeds' took off, I… — Kevin Nealon Casts Copy Share Image
I never really got into marketing. I went to school for it, but never pursued it once I got out. Instead, I… — Kevin Nealon Europe Copy Share Image
When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley… — Kevin Nealon Comic Copy Share Image
Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I… — Kevin Nealon Comedian Copy Share Image
Me and Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel and Dana Carvey wrote a script called 'Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,' and it… — Kevin Nealon Action Copy Share Image
I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so… — Kevin Nealon Born Copy Share Image
A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a… — Kevin Nealon Accountants Copy Share Image
What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash… — Kevin Nealon Always Copy Share Image
A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. — Kevin Nealon Materials Copy Share Image
As an actor, you're always reading scripts looking for something good. — Kevin Nealon Actor Copy Share Image
A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any… — Kevin Nealon Books Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit. — Kevin Nealon Blues music Copy Share Image
Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent… — Kevin Nealon Animal Copy Share Image
'The Outer Limits' was one of those shows I grew up watching - that and The 'Twilight Zone.' — Kevin Nealon Grew Copy Share Image
The ethical argument regarding abortion hinges on the question of when life begins. Some believe life begins at forty. — Kevin Nealon Abortion Copy Share Image
