When I made 'Weekend,' the idea that 'Moonlight' would win the Oscar would be like, Whaaaaat? Like, that's not going to happen. — Andrew Haigh Copy Share Image
See, 'A Time to Kill' was the one I got famous off of. Big ka-boom, over one weekend. After that, I did… — Matthew McConaughey Copy Share Image
That moment when you wake up with a hang over and say I'm not drinking anymore...until the following weekend approaches. — Robert Escalante Copy Share Image
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If I would have thought like fans think, I'd be broke and brain dead and fighting everybody every weekend. — Dustin Poirier Copy Share Image
I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Music loud: Check! Drink in hand: Check! Smile on face: Check! Saturday mode activated! — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
I wanted so badly to walk into WrestleMania weekend as the NXT champion and headline TakeOver. — Tommaso Ciampa Copy Share Image
We're also a multi-site church, so we have other pastors on other campuses who want to read the message before the video… — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, 'Well, they get pie. It's not… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
The stakes are high on every film now because there's the opening weekend. The first week is extremely crucial; increasingly, films are… — Vidya Balan Copy Share Image
A moment later, he plopped down on the sand beside her, and when they accidentally touched, Gabby had the briefest flash of… — Nicholas Sparks Copy Share Image
“I've never had a one-night stand with anybody over the course of a whole weekend. I've also never had a one-night stand… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I always work the same way, starting from the beginning of the weekend, so I know at the beginning of the race,… — Alain Prost Copy Share Image
Until now, I've been a kind of binge-writer - I'll carve out five or six hours on a weekend day and make… — Lev Grossman Copy Share Image
There is evidence that young men in the big law firms, although they still work harder than most of their clients, do… — David Riesman Copy Share Image
How do you convince somebody to host a stranger for the weekend? That's not a trivial thing. It's not something I think… — Joe Gebbia Copy Share Image
I was about 12 or 13 years old. I picked up the Bible and read it from cover to cover one weekend… — Madalyn Murray O'Hair Copy Share Image
I always considered myself a loner. I mean, not like a poor-me, Byron-esque, I-should-have-brought-a-swimming-buddy loner. I mean the sort of person who… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
It's really easy for someone to say no one should have guns when they're guarded by people with MP-5s. It's a little… — Sean Hannity Copy Share Image
Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
When I'm on tour, I'll just fly the family out, I'll put 'em on the bus with me. They don't have to… — E-40 Copy Share Image
I made promises to myself and my family that I'd be in the UFC before my first daughter was born, that didn't… — Alexander Volkanovski Copy Share Image
It's like living in a retirement home! Clarence is taking a nap right now, and he eats at five. It's so boring."… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
I actually miss my old bestfriend I miss seeing her every weekend and doing crazy things, shit hurts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't wait until someone finally converts,Monday's into a part of the freaking WEEKEND!!!!!!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lets get drunk and tell each other everything we're too afraid to say sober. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Friday Night Fam! Time to free yourself from worries and stresses and focus on all of your blessings!! Spread LOVE &… — Tracey Edmonds Copy Share Image
What about you, Sage? I know we don't have to worry about you violating the dress code. Did you have fun at… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“This book is a very enjoyable read - I read it in a weekend. Eveline Maedel” — Vicki M. Taylor Copy Share Image
The worst thing ever is making it through the work week only to be sick on a Saturday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I come home every weekend and I still can't believe I represent Las Vegas in Congress. It's such a kick. — Shelley Berkley Copy Share Image
“Here's to you beautiful people, hoping you have a safe, fun & fantastic weekend!” — LaNina King Copy Share Image
Commitment phobes will be scared of making plans for the next weekend, let alone six months from now! — Matthew Hussey Copy Share Image
Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
No driving, no sleeping. Live it up like it's the weekend, when the DJ play the right song gonna drink, gonna party… — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
We used to go cycling as a family every weekend. I played basketball, cricket, badminton, and was half-decent at them. — Jack Butland Copy Share Image
Obviously you've got to take some time to go out, but just not every weekend! — Jack Grealish Copy Share Image
How come it rains every Hall of Fame weekend? They need to move it to a different weekend. — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
Each week, we might write 500 jokes for 'Weekend Update,' and ultimately, we can only do about 10. — Colin Jost Copy Share Image
