“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Any sensible ruler would have killed off Leonard, and Lord Vetinari was extremely sensible and often wondered why he had not done… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you're good at that, I'll… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Oh, that's just Thud! That's easy!" yapped a voice. Both men turned to look at Horsefry, who had been made perky by… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir." Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?" Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?"… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“One of my predecessors used to have people torn to death by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Moist waited. Lord Vetinari could outstare a statue and make even a statue start to feel nervous and confess. Moist's counter was… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“...one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Lord Vetinari lifted an eyebrow with the care of one who, having found a piece of caterpillar in his salad, raises the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“We play and are played and the best we can hope for is to do it with style.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“And in this doleful mood he ventured to wonder if they ever thought back to when things were just old-fangled or not… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
And these are your reasons, my lord?" "Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“We can't just drop everything, sir!" "Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand?” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
