Universal Quotes by Frank Zappa

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

— Frank Zappa

While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'.

— Frank Zappa

Very few people do covers of my tunes.

— Frank Zappa

Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.

— Frank Zappa

Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.

— Frank Zappa

Do your job and do it right, life's a ball, TV tonight.

— Frank Zappa

Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in…

— Frank Zappa

Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole?

— Frank Zappa

Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.

— Frank Zappa

The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'.

— Frank Zappa

Give me the enchilada with the pickle sauce shoved up between the donkey's ass.

— Frank Zappa

Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil.

— Frank Zappa