There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
With old inflation riding the headlines, I have read till I am bleary-eyed, and I can't get head from tails of the… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible; and secondly, it annoys the hell… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I guess there is no two races of people in worse repute with everybody than the international bankers, and the folks that… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
They are voting whether to keep a governor two years or four. I think a good, honest governor should get four years,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why... we… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
... while the Republicans are smart enough to make money, the Democrats are smart enough to get in office every two or… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
One wants recovery to start from the bottom, and the other wants it to start from the top. I don't know which… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don't divide the two parties,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
