Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to! — Al Franken Copy Share Image
I want to reclaim 'liberal.' I'm a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals. — Al Franken Copy Share Image
“The Democratic Senator’s Serenity Prayer God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Legislate The Courage to Legislate the Things I… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
Antitrust law isn't about protecting competing businesses from each other, it's about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public. — Al Franken Copy Share Image
Putin has had many positive experiences working with Western political leaders whose business interests made them more disposed to deal with Russia. — Al Franken Copy Share Image
“right wing’s most common techniques—including the deceptive use of statistics.” — Al Franken Copy Share Image
Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone. — Al Franken Copy Share Image
I am a Minnesotan, and not just because I root for the Vikings and the Twins. I like the Minnesota-nice sensibility. I like the… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
My dad didn't graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year. My mom sold… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
