People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I like to play unattractive people who think they're pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I've never played anyone who didn't like themselves. I don't care if they're unattractive, but it's important that they think of themselves… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock.… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I always want to look unattractive, it's more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren't attractive who think they are pretty.… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
“In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.” — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
