Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
My instinct was always have your gun in your hand. Especially when you are telling somebody to do something. But, in fact,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
All children should be loved, protected, nurtured --emotionally and intellectually-- respected, and never, under any circumstances, underestimated. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Self-pity is the bestiality of emotions: it absolutely disgusts people. When you're feeling pity for yourself, and somebody says to you 'You… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
As I sat in the hot, salty water, I thought, 'No wonder Mr. Bubble always gives me a urinary tract infection and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
