Sarcastic Quotes · Page 18

A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. -Clary, pg.243-

— Cassandra Clare

Heaven won't have meand hells afraid I'll take over!

— Hemant Smarty

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

— John Barrymore

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

— Green Monk

A Fat Person just walk by the TV, damn I really miss 3 Episodes

— John Martinez

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

— Anonymous

I love you is 8 letters...so is bullshit.

— Anonymous

I am sarcastic and dry, but I also have a pretty huge zest for life.

— Krysten Ritter

If I'm being sarcastic, please don't take offense. It's just my way of not punching you in the face.

— Anonymous

Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.

— Harold Wilson

You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

— Hy Gardner

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

— George Carlin

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

— George W. Bush

See this hand? Its going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning…

— Humaira

Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things.

— Pamela Anderson

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

— Oscar Wilde

You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock." "Very amusing,…

— Cassandra Clare

While you remain at home your hair is at the hairdresser's; you take out your teeth at night and sleep tucked away…

— Martial

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies…

— Ambrose Bierce

Barack Obama is pretty similar to the person you see in public, at press conferences. He's a little saltier, a little more…

— Jonathan Chait

“Perfect! Now we're being chased by hoards of monkeys! Perhaps you would care to name their species as we're attacked, just so…

— Colleen Houck

When I first started writing, I was living in England and I had that uniquely English sense of sarcasm, which has definitely…

— Jane Green

I don't want to come across the wrong way, which is hard when being funny or sarcastic at times, but I also…

— Toni Garrn

Advertisers in general bear a large part of the responsibility for the deep feelings of inadequacy that drive women to psychiatrists, pills,…

— Marya Mannes

Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.

— Megan Fox

My mother was sarcastic and delightful and, trust me, quite remarkable.

— Kevin Spacey

Just because it looks good to you, doesn't mean it's goodfor you

— Richie

If I hear another pancake joke I'm gonna flip.

— Anonymous

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.

— Mae West

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.

— Hemant Smarty

He was happily married but his wife wasnt.

— Anonymous

That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

— Anonymous

He must have killed a lot of men to have made so much money.

— Moliere

Saying 'Wow, You're cool.' when you see someone doing something stupid.

— Anonymous

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

— Irvin S. Cobb

I thought men like that shot themselves.

— George V

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

— Groucho Marx

He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep.

— Dorothy Eden

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.

— J. C. Watts

I like rumors! I found out so much about me that I didn't even know.

— Anonymous