Sarcastic Quotes · Page 13

You don't know that you're beautiful? Yeah, cause you're not!

— Rakii Retondo

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

— Mark Twain

History repeats itself, the first as tragedy, then as farce.

— Karl Marx

You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

— Wilson Mizner

Sorry, I'm not tall enough to ride your emotional roller-coaster.

— KM II

When you said you loved me, did you forget to say just kidding?

— Anonymous

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

— Steven Wright

Oh, I'm sorry! I thought slut was your costume...

— Anonymous

The ability to recognize whether or not someone is being sarcastic is a sign of a healthy mind.

— Anonymous

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.

— John Cleese

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

— Josh Billings

I don't try to be a sarcastic bitch all the time; I'm just naturally talented like that I guess. *shrugs shoulders and…

— Nicole Hill

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interupt the start of yours?

— Anonymous

Whats the point of having U as a FRIEND in FACEBOOK.. when in real life I really wanna SLAP ur FACE with…

— Joanne Lobedica

And now I'm using sarcasm, to confess the whole thing so later I could say I already told you.

— Homer

“A man is a penis-wrinkle when calling him a dickhead would be a compliment.”

— NM Facile

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily…

— Mae West

“And I know I'm sarcastic and defensive and I make a joke out of everything and am highly resistant to anything that…

— Shauna Cross

Every once in a while, friends leave sarcastic comments on photos. I know they're joking, but the sarcastic humor doesn't always translate…

— Peyton List

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh,…

— Anonymous

I always find that I'm less sarcastic in France and maybe I'm a bit more shy and a bit more reserved, even…

— Freya Mavor

Go anywhere in England where there are natural wholesome, contented and really nice English people; and what do you find? That the…

— George Bernard Shaw

“You are, however, surprisingly light of touch.” “Pardon?” “The way you’re holding my hand. I always thought you’d be more of a…

— G.A. Aiken

The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage.…

— Valerie Solanas

Nothing says you're a cool dude more than a tribal tattoo...

— Anonymous

I'm as bored as a slut on her period.

— Anonymous

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

— Anonymous

Of course I can keep a secret. Its the people I tell it to who cant.

— Anonymous

Officer , I swear to drunk Im not God!

— Hemant Smarty

You hate your life? Go post on Facebook about it, that'll help.

— Anonymous

He [Napoleon] was as great as a man can be without morality.

— Alexis de Tocqueville

It's not you, it's me = It's me that can do a lot better, not you.

— Sarah Moores

I see lots of things, except your point..

— Sarah Moores

Folks always look good in their coffins.

— Elvis Presley

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen

— Jim Davis

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.

— Francis

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.

— John Cleese

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

— Margot Asquith

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

— Ellen Glasgow

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

— John Cleese