Sarcastic Quotes · Page 11

He is brilliant - to the top of his boots.

— David Lloyd George

Mom, Im going out. 'With friends?' No, with people I hate...

— Anonymous

“Your middle name might be discreet, but mine is resourceful, Darling.”

— Ella Dominguez

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

— John Cleese

Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

— Anonymous

“Sarcastic and merciless one, you glory in the pain you give!”

— E.D.E.N. Southworth

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

— Milton Berle

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.

— Robert Redford

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

— Mae West

Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

— Franz Grillparzer

The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.

— Paul Theroux

People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont…

— Anonymous

I like messed up people, and I try to associate with them as much as I possibly can.

— Anonymous

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not fear being sarcastic because at worst the smart ones will get annoyed and the dumb will take it as a…

— Juju

Yeah, I definitely tend towards dry, sarcastic British humor. I actually aspire to be British - I'm pasty white as well.

— Daryl Morey

In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to…

— Mark Twain

I consider myself almost a Californian at this point, because I've been here long enough. Obviously, when I first came to the…

— Reid Scott

Whoa, what is this? Battle of the Sarcastic and Pissed? Should I make popcorn? Forget American Idol, man. This is much more…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what…

— Panic at the Disco

There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the…

— Alfred Hitchcock

“This is awesome," Tsunami said. "I'm so excited." "Going to see my very favorite dragon in all of Pyrrhia." "Are you being…

— Tui T. Sutherland

A person who can laugh and go with life does not demand to be in control, which is why the most controlling…

— Richard Rohr

I'm sarcastic & I have a smart a* attitude! It's a natural defense against drama, bullshit and stupidity, and I don't give…

— Anonymous

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

— Woody Allen

He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating.

— Ayn Rand

He is mad, bad and dangerous to know.

— Lady Caroline Lamb

Automatic simply means that you can?t repair it yourself.

— Frank Capra

If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question!

— Anonymous

I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

— Anonymous

How dare you ignore me after I've made 0 attempts at talking to you.

— Ramandeep Singh

You had to learn at a certain age what sarcasm is, you know?

— Penny Marshall

A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

— Tom Waits

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

— Hemant Smarty

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

— Molly Ivins

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

— Jean Webster

[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

— Billy Wilder

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

— George Carlin

The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

— Zach Galifianakis