Sarcastic Quotes · Page 10

I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.

— Anonymous

Yeah, he's in pain except between the first and ninth innings

— Dave Bristol

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

— Margot Asquith

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

— Oscar Wilde

How is it possible to have a civil war?

— George Carlin

You know you're awesome when people you don't even know hate you.

— Anonymous

Sorry...I couldn't hear you over all the f*ck I don't give.

— Anonymous

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

— Joe E. Lewis

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.

— Rowan Atkinson

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

— Anonymous

If I can't kiss my own ass what makes you think I'm going to kiss yours?

— Nicole Hill

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

— Will Rogers

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

— Anonymous

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

— Anonymous

You are so pure in mind and heart, In aspect, too, so mild, I wonder that you ever could Implant your wife…

— Martial

Apparently my teachers are having a contest to see who could give out the most homework.

— Anonymous

“He shook his head. "Uh-uh. That's not going to work anymore. You can be as hard and sarcastic as you want, but…

— Sarah Addison Allen

Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me…

— Aubrey Plaza

History is a kind of introduction to more interesting people than we can possibly meet in our restricted lives; let us not…

— Dexter Perkins

I have this odd tendency to be really sarcastic when I'm uncomfortable and I don't really know why but it just comes…

— Mila Kunis

For hearts that are kindly, with virtue and peace, and not seeking blindly a hoard to increase; for those who are grieving…

— Walter Mason Camp

My give a fuck button totally failed to commence operation this morning..so, until further notice I'm activating my 'go-on-now' button. Act accordingly!

— Nicole HIll

That was a sarcastic remark pointing out that Bill Clinton has, quite a past, and Hillary Clinton has done quite a job…

— Rudy Giuliani

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their…

— P. J. O'Rourke

It's never just a game when you're winning.

— George Carlin

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

— Anonymous

You are about as useful as a white crayon.

— Humaira

He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

— Fred Allen

Clearly, I am no match for your level of ignorance.

— Anonymous

My sex life is like a Ferrari...I don't have a Ferrari.

— Anonymous

Question: Do you know who I am???? Answer: No, Why? Have you forgotten?

— Humaira

My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

— Charles M. Schulz

We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry.

— Anneliese van der Pol

The most unorganized place is the woman's bag.

— Charles Elba

A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

— Honore de Balzac

His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.

— F. H. Bradley

He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.

— John Ruskin

I wish I'd known you when you were alive.

— Leonard Louis Levinson

9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just plane wrong.

— Anonymous