You know what happened the last time a group of people said, 'Screw it, we don't care what you think'? They got hung as witches. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
It said, 'War Is Not the Answer.' I disagree. I think war absolutely is the answer. And if you don't agree with me, happy Fourth of July. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
I've do a lot of USO shows and do whatever I can to support the military. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
Everybody has their cross to bear, and everybody has their issues. But it still never once occurred to me that I'm not as good… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
There's a way to express femininity and independence and strength without going for hanging fruit. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
I was a huge 'Blind Date' fan, though, when I was younger; that was on when I was in high school. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
When you travel, try having an open mind, not just about the city that you're in but about the surrounding areas. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
Most women have jobs that require them to leave the house. A cat is actually a perfect pet. You get the love and companionship… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
What keeps me going is that this I all there is. I am a comedian, and this is what I do. It's like telling… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
A lot of comedians are really funny onstage, but they can't do a podcast. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
I used to take a recorder around and interview my parents and do impressions of my classmates as guests on my show. — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
