“It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.” — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although,… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. — John Oliver Copy Share Image
“It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so… — Django Wylie Copy Share Image
“If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Zane let his head loll back and lifted one hand to gently prod his split lip. "Ow." "Whine about it. It'll make… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank… — Leviak B. Kelly Copy Share Image
“He leaned forward and plucked something out of my hair. 'What—?' He held the dead leaf before me. 'Must have gotten that… — Shannon Delany Copy Share Image
“It is the observer of the pun that makes it, my dear Brumm. Of course, when the word is distorted, as in… — John Davidson Copy Share Image
“Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." True, but they're not all full of shit.” — Brian Spellman Copy Share Image
“If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
“Khione’s eyes flared pure white. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stormed back up the stairs—literally. Halfway up,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“Look at the first arch in a human and a shark, and you find a very similar state of affairs: jaws.” — Neil Shubin Copy Share Image
