These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I make fun of people who are religious, because they're fundamentally weak. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "Gimme that! It's mine!" — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The violence of the Left is symbolic, the injuries are not intended. The violence of the Right is real - directed at… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Obviously, there are people who constrict themselves and build walls around themselves, whether it's from a moral standpoint or a patriotic standpoint,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward:… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Someone once said, if you scratch a cynic, and you'll find a disappointed idealist. That really rang a bell with me -… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm not in show business because I don't have to go to the meetings, I'm just not a part of it, I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Someone said, and rightfully, that "property is theft'." There's no way a man can stand and tell me that he owns an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People tell you to have a safe trip, as if you have some control over it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share
![“We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f08/george-carlin-155_americans_we-americans-are-not-a-freedom-loving-pe_2631602.jpg)
