Growing up, there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring. — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And then once… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast. — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
“If I hear the term ‘healing journey’ one more f–king time… It is not a ‘healing journey.’ It’s a ‘numb slog.’ It’s just a,… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
I wish I had a really cool, esoteric answer, but what the process is to me is going onstage night after night after night… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday,… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
“hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative. — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
We're rewarding either the reality or the appearance of youth, which is why you have all these people in their fifties trying to act… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
With a comedian, it's the opposite. You put that album out, and they've heard it. If they're coming out to see you, you'd better… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
What I was trying to say in that bit, without saying it out loud, is that there were things - you're right, everything is… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
