All the subject matter I talk about isn't new; all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, "I… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say,… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
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