Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Comics, as good as they might be, they didn't know much about performance. There aren't too many comics you could watch for… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I have no problem today letting people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
As long as you can walk the street and you know there's a tomorrow, there's always that chance. That's how I've always… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
You know, women are acting the way they want to act now. Years ago they would hide it in the way they… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I'm an animal. I'm an animal in real-life and an animal onstage. I never became a recluse, I never lived up in… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed one just to have a… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, "I… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
