My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth,… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
“In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.” — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice. — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
