“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Anybody that's really close to me, they know I'm really funny and I love to joke. I can laugh at anything. — Nav Copy Share Image
I think as I get older, I'm just going to start making smooth, new age music - no joke. — Caroline Polachek Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought. — Alexia Copy Share Image
My friends joke that I raised the Titanic and never left the Rockies. — Clive Cussler Copy Share Image
You can't teach standup comedy. You can teach someone how to formulate a joke, but making it funny is different. — Jermaine Fowler Copy Share Image
“This was another fossil of a joke. I couldn't remember where it'd come from, I had a horrible feeling it might have… — Alexis Hall Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about your girlfriend's p*ssy? Nevermind, you'll never get it... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I make a lot of money. I wear a lot of jewelry. And the reason I buy so much jewelry is to… — Riff Raff Copy Share Image
I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I'm actually into the idea of doing stand-up comedy, as a joke. You know how people do karaoke for fun? Well it… — Keeley Hazell Copy Share Image
Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
In my mid-20s, I was directing episodes of 'Alfred Hitchcock' and 'Peter Gunn.' I was pretty much on course and - as… — George Stevens, Jr Copy Share Image
When I had dial-up, my mom got me a phone so I wouldn't tie up the phone. She used to really pick… — Karen Civil Copy Share Image
Candice is the original spelling of my name. I changed it to Kandyse when I was really young and first starting out… — Kandyse McClure Copy Share Image
I wrote a show - just as a joke, actually - and called it 'Bipolar, Bath, & Beyond,' just to bring some… — Jenifer Lewis Copy Share Image
My men's clothes are traditional. I don't buy trendy clothes. I buy updated classics double breasted, three-piece suits; slacks and either T-shirts… — Divine Copy Share Image
I've always loved cuneiform; I've always loved the way it looks. I love that it's the world's oldest script. And the creative… — David Longstreth Copy Share Image
For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“…And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome.… — Jonathan Acuff Copy Share Image
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
