Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Any private security is a joke in a country where you're up against your own government. — Bidzina Ivanishvili Copy Share Image
“Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Whenever I passed by a Chinese restaurant in a car, I'd joke to my friends, 'Oh yeah, my uncle owns that place.' — Jenny Zhang Copy Share Image
I'm not good with jokes, no. I don't know a joke at all. I like being told jokes, but I can't tell… — James DeGale Copy Share Image
I joke that every time I'm in the playoffs, it feels like I'm in the Super Bowl. — Chris Long Copy Share Image
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. — Georg C. Lichtenberg Copy Share Image
If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish. -Marlin — Finding Nemo Copy Share Image
There used to be such a thing as a sick joke, or laughing at misfortune, because comedy and laughter are a way… — Limmy Copy Share Image
I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which… — David Cross Copy Share Image
The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
When you go and meet people in far-flung parts of the world who need help, they're not earnest; they're having a laugh… — Hugh Dennis Copy Share Image
A novel wouldn't be a book if there weren't some flights of fancy on the part of the author, stopping time to… — Ned Vizzini Copy Share Image
The beautiful thing about comedy in the U.K. is that it has a clever twist to it, and when you really break… — Katherine Ryan Copy Share Image
I'm not opposed to doing science fiction or comedy, but there has to be respect. I refuse to be the joke, the… — Darlene Cates Copy Share Image
Every year on my birthday I get a small dash on my inner thigh where my balls currently hang. You can't tell… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“What’s the best practical joke you’ve ever played on another camper? Connor: The golden mango! Travis: Oh, dude, that was awesome. Connor:… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Kristen is obviously delusional when she tweets a one word description of herself as 'loyal.' What a joke! The only way that… — Tom Sandoval Copy Share Image
The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
When something really affects you, it's hard to find the humor in it sometimes. There's are a lot of reasons why there… — Sarah Cooper Copy Share Image
Not only do I not hate gay people, I actually accept them for who and what they are. They always seem happy… — Quinton Jackson Copy Share Image
You're under the gun at all times because it's live TV. A lot of time, between dress and air, you're having to… — Paula Pell Copy Share Image
“When I go to the bathrooms, I cannot take off my pants as before; because there is a light continuously blinking like… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
